Before I Fall

Lauren Oliver writes, “Maybe you can afford to wait. Maybe for you there's a tomorrow. Maybe for you there's one thousand tomorrows, or three thousand, or ten, so much time you can bathe in it, roll around it, let it slide like coins through you fingers. So much time you can waste it. But for some of us there's only today. And the truth is, you never really know”. I chose Before I Fall by Lauren Oliver to read as my final book for the challenge. I have had this book sitting on my bookcase for several years, but have never dived deep. I watched the movie several years ago, and went out and bought the book, but never got around to reading it. 
Samantha is a straight up bully. She is one of the most popular girls in the book, and right out of the gate you see her die. It is not everyday you read a story and the main character dies in the first few pages. I was already seeing MAJOR differences from the movie, so I was excited to see where this was going. A girl named Juliet dives in front of Samantha and her friends vehicle. Juliet commits suicide, and all the girls die as well. It turns out that Samantha and her friends were bullying Juliet.
All of a sudden Samantha wakes up and it is still February 12th again. She thinks it is all just a bad dream, until it just keeps happening. Every morning she wakes up, and it is February 12th, and every night she dies. She at first thinks the day is about saving herself, but no matter what she does it just keeps happening. The story progresses with Samantha realizing she has been a horrible person to many, and soon realizes its about saving Juliet. She sacrifices herself to save Juliet. 
If you think about the irony of our current situations, it is like we are living the same days over and over during this pandemic. I wake up everyday not sure what day it is, and wear the same clothes for three days straight. Samantha got out of this predicament when she finally owned up to her situation. I feel like this can apply to our lives as well. I am the one who chooses to pretend that everyday is the same. I am not owning up to my own life, and sit in my own boredom world of misery. I could use this time to better myself, learn a new hobby, or get ahead, but instead wallow in self pity and procrastinate until the last minute like I am right now. Samantha discovered that if she changed her bad habits she would not only save Juliet's life, but she would also get to move on. Maybe we should take a cue from Samantha, and better ourselves during this uncertain time.

Divergent by Veronica Roth

If you cannot tell by now I am a HUGE dystopian, fantasy, young adult genre loving adult. I think as a reader I got engulfed in the Twilight series first, and after that I was hooked. As a reader I enjoy these kind of stories because of the sense of friendship, love, teamwork, and honestly, girl power that is in a lot of these novels. The Divergent series has always been at the top of my favorite list. Veronica Roth has created a female protagonist that teaches us females how to stand up for who we are. I think young adults that read these kind of stories, especially teenage females, need to know they are valued, and in charge of their lives, and Tris, the main character does this exquisitely.
Tris grows up in a faction system that has people grouped based off what their personality instincts label as. They can be Dauntless, Candor, Amity, Abnegation, and Erudite. There is also characters that are Divergent, or they exhibit characteristics from each faction, but to be Divergent is basically taboo. This story follows Tris as she takes her test to see which faction she should fall into, and how she finds out she is Divergent. She goes against the advice and chooses to become Dauntless where she feels the least connection to. What is a typical young adult/dystopian novel without a love story right? Tris falls in love with her teacher, Four who is also from Abnegation, but chose Dauntless to flee from his childhood of torment.
For me, this story, and the two following books in the series, create a character so rich in plot and development. Tris becomes who she was destined to be. She goes from being a quiet Abnegation girl, to the outspoken and fiery character we love. She fights for what she believes in. She saves her friends and family.
This story also looks at how we label people. They sift these people into factions, and expect them to only excel at what they are supposed to. They never are to step out of line. Most of these children chose the life they were born into, but some like Tris, her brother Caleb, and Four leave behind the familiar, and explore something new. I think this is a good analogy for anyone. We do not have to be raised to be just one thing. This is a great life lesson to teach our students. We can be what we want to be, and we should be that, not what others want us to be.

Like A Writer!

Nyx the vampyre goddess says, "Darkness does not always equate to evil, Light does not always bring good". For a book that is followed with eleven more books and several miniseries this is the quote that has always stood out to me. I started these books when I was in high school, and was hooked. As P.C. Cast and her daughter Kristin Cast released more and more to their series I found myself excited as a late twenty-something reader to read books I started ten years prior. These women have wrote an exceptional series that obviously appeals to several different age groups.
One thing I notice when I look at this novel from a writers outlook is how they make the characters so in depth. Especially when you look at the entire series there is so much character plot and development. One of the characters, Stevie Ray befriends our main character Zoey. They refer to her a "country blumpkin" many times, and I can here the twang in her voice when I read her narratives. Another character Aphrodite is the typical mean high school bully throughout the novel, but as the series develops she gets a major story arc and becomes one of the most beloved characters. When you read her narratives its like being in high school all over again, and hearing those mean girls pick at each other. “Nice dress Zoey. It looks just like mine. Oh, wait! It used to be mine. Aphrodite laughed a throaty, I'm-so-grown-and-you're-just-a-kid laugh." This is just one instance when Aphrodite torments Zoey and her friends.
I am obviously a little biased to this series from my love of it, but I do believe it is written lovely. If you read reviews it seems to get a pretty big mix of feelings, but overall it has been pretty popular in the Young Adult world. I would not recommend this box for a class library because it can be kind of raunchy. I would put this book in more of a high school class. Something they could look at in this text is how the characters are written. There is such a vast cast of characters to chose to discuss how they are described, their narratives, and their story arcs.

The Perks of Being A Wallflower

"We accept the love we think we deserve." This has been an important quote for me for years, and at one point even considered getting it tattooed on my ribs. I remember reading this book when I was twenty-two, so nearly six years ago. There are SO MANY take aways from this book for any teen/twenty something. Stephen Chbosky wrote a work of grit, love, hate, and more. 

We meet Charlie, the main character of the story as he begins his freshman year of high school. We all know how awkward and angsty teenagers are, and so this is a weird time in his life. One thing I love about this book was how the narrative was written. Charlie is writing letters to someone, but we do not know who, and we never find out. The Oxford definition of being a wallflower is "a person who has no one to dance with or who feels shy, awkward, or excluded at a party". I am sure we have all felt like wallflowers at some point in our lives, but some more than ever. Charlie is the textbook definition of a wallflower. He is observant and keeps to himself. I personally connect to this book and to Charlie on so many levels. It deals with depression, suicide, love relationships, friendships, family, and so much more. 

The book also gives us some backstory on Charlie. We meet his his Aunt Helen who died in a car crash on his seventh birthday. He was very close with his aunt, and as a reader we can feel him coping with his grief. As the story develops we see Charlie forge relationships with a teacher, and his new two friends, Sam and Patrick. The book goes on to show their friendships blossom. 

When I hear "we accept the love we think we deserve", I think the author had many different forms of expressing this throughout. Charlie's sister was in an abusive relationship, but she shrugs it off. This part of the book really hits me because I was in a situation very similar. I dated a man for two years who I thought loved me, but he was also physically and emotionally abusive, but I never left. I accepted his love because thats what I believed I deserved. We later see Charlie and Sam start to get intimate, which was expected with how their relationship had started to blossom, but then something completely unexpected happened. As things start to warm up, Charlie gets extremely uncomfortable. He has realized that his Aunt Helen had molested him as a child, and he had suppressed these memories. By the end of the book we learn that Charlie has been admitted into a mental hospital because that day when he got home after he remembered about his aunt he mentally lost it. The way the narritative is written we go from Charlie basically worshipping his aunt, to finding out she was sexually abusing him as a child. I am so happy I had chose to pick this book back up. It reminded me of so many feelings, both good and bad. I have refused to watch the movie because of the love I have for the book. I recommend it for anyone looking for a deep read.

Mockingjay

“It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart.” Finnick Odair, one of the most beloved characters of The Hunger Games trilogy, states this to Katniss after a discussion about Peeta. We left off with Katniss being whisked away to District 13 at the end of Catching Fire. Up until this point everyone had believed that District 13 was completely blown off the map years prior, but they went underground building their resistance, and waiting for the perfect time to rise up. 
Mockingjay follows Katniss as District 13 pushes back on the Capitol. They make Katniss the face of the rebellion. Katniss Everdeen is the Mockingjay. Katniss struggles through the first half of the book because Peeta is being held by the Capitol. Every time they publish Katniss on tv a video of Peeta follows, and each time he shows more and more signs of abuse. By the middle of the book District 13 goes in to save the lives of the hostages. The real twist of the novel was when they went in to save the hostages they just let them take them. When Peeta sees Katniss for the first time you expect a blissful exchange, but instead we get Peeta attempting to kill Katniss. The Capitol "hijacked" Peeta's memories of Katniss, and manipulated them to be terrible memories. The rest of the novel follows Katniss, Gale, Finnick, Peeta, and others as they go deep into the battle of the rebellion. 
For me the deepest part of the book is watching Katniss basically lose the man she loves, and the building of that new relationship. I can remember reading this book for the first time, and just being in complete shock. We had just gotten what we all wanted, a true Katniss/Peeta romance, and it was ripped right out of our hands. I remember going to see the part one of the movie with a friend who had not read the books, and she literally gasped in shock. To me this was the most pivotal moment of the book. If you think of a moment that really just rocked your world this would be it. There are so many things to look at to analyze in this story from Katniss being a symbol for rebellion, the Capitols malicious attitude, or the way the streets of the capitol resemble the games, but to me I just obsessed the idea of this relationship, and it felt like it went right down the drain. The way Suzanne Collins rebuilds their relationship is brilliant. Peeta slowly gains memories back, but he never completely remembers everything. The most tender moment in the book is when he remembers Katniss's favorite color is green. As a reader, I gained back that glimmer of hope, and I clung to it for the remainder of the book. 
Overall, I enjoyed this book. It has a darker tone compared to the first novels, but rightfully so. The nation is going through a dark time, and Suzanne Collins had to represent that. I would HIGHLY recommend any Young Adult genre reader to fall in love with this series just as I did.

Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins

“Fire is catching! And if we burn, you burn with us!” Katniss Everdeen thought she would never have to fear hearing her name read aloud in the reaping, but she was wrong. Catching Fire is the second book in The Hunger Games trilogy, and it is by far my favorite. This is my third time reading it. I read it all in one sitting because it is just so captivating.
There are so many parts to this book. The story starts off with Katniss and Peeta after they have won their Hunger Games, and are the first ever team of victors. This does not settle well with the villain, President Snow. The pair embark on a Victors Tour, and when it concludes they head back to their new homes in District 12. The hard part about their tour is that they have to continue this half charade and half real romance. Peeta has always loved Katniss, and she does not know how she feels. When they return home the next Hunger Games is announced, but this time it is different because its the 75th, which means its a quarter quell. A quarter quell means that their are no rules, and the game makers can do whatever they want. One year they doubled the amount of tributes. President Snow sees this as an opportunity because when Katniss and Peeta defied the games and won together, it ignited a rebellion against everything he stood for. The 75th Hunger Games would be comprised of previous victors, and Katniss being the only female victor in District 12 makes her an automatic tribute. The rest of the story follows Katniss and Peeta as they prepare and battle in the games. By the end of the story we see the rebellion is up in full swing.
Katniss and Peeta's relationship is so complex. When Peeta announced he had loved Katniss every since they were children it sent the capitol and other districts into a frenzy. They wanted them to be in love, so they were, and when they won it truly brought their love story to light. Throughout the story we start to see Katniss develop feelings for Peeta. She wants to protect him. She wants Haymitch to volunteer so Peeta is not in the games. She always has his back. This is the part of the story that has always really hooked me in. I can remember reading this story for the first time and literally rooting for them to be truly in love. The unfortunate part of the story is just as Katniss has truly opened up to him, they are separated. The rebellion has had a plan all along to get Katniss out of the arena, but Peeta was not able to be saved and is taken by the Capitol.
The rebellion in Catching Fire sets up the entire last novel. This rebellion stands for so much. The districts live in poverty, providing goods and services for the people of the Capitol to live lavish lives. The people of the districts finally start to stand up for themselves. This series is a great young adult read that students could read, and it provides many lessons throughout. We can compare things like the events in the series to real life rebellions. They happen all over the world. I will always recommend this book. The way Suzanna Collins writes will captivate you, and before you know it you will be reading three books in two days like I did.

The Fault In Our Stars

"Some infinities are bigger than other infinites." What a quote to ponder. Some infinites last lifetimes, and then there are some infinities that only last awhile. When contemplating what to read next I gravitated back to a book I have loved for years, The Fault In Our Stars. I read this book previously before the movie was released. I remember vividly laying in bed finishing this book sobbing into the pages. It is written so beautifully, yet so tragic.
John Green wrote the first book I posted about, Turtles All The Way Down, and much like that novel, this one is based in Indianapolis as well. He mentions the Castleton Mall that I have frequented many times. John Green knows how to pull at your heart strings, and he does it many times throughout this novel. Hazel is a teenager, but she also has cancer. She has been sick for years, but finally she is pretty healthy at the beginning of the book. Her mother drops her off at her cancer support group, and this is where she meets the lovely Augustus Waters. Gus had cancer in his leg, which was amputated. As the story progresses we see Gus pursuing Hazel, but she tries to push him off due to being afraid of hurting him. It does not take long for her to succumb to her feelings and fall madly in love with Gus.
Cancer is such a horrible process, but once you start bringing children into it, it becomes even worse. Taking a deeper look at Hazel you can see how her disease has affected her. She is afraid to let anyone in because she is afraid she will die. She is afraid for her parents, and what their lives will look like after her. She is afraid that if Gus falls in love with her, he will never move on. The truly tragic thing about this entire story is the fact that Gus's cancer comes back. He does not tell Hazel right away, and he lets them enjoy this amazing trip to Amsterdam to meet Hazel's favorite author. This is not something you see coming, and you feel like you want to find John Green personally and throw this book at his head. Eventually Gus dies, but before he does he insists on attending his own funeral. This is my personal favorite chapter in the book. Between ugly tears I can understand what "Some infinites are bigger than other infinites." actually means. The time that Gus and Hazel got to spend together may not of been long, but for them it was an infinity. The love they had for each other was strong, brave, and resilient. While Gus may be gone, Hazel still has love for him that will last for an infinity. I love this book because it is such an emotional read, but also an easy read. I reread the entire book in less than a day.

One of Us Is Lying

Imagine if the board game CLUE, and the movie The Breakfast Club made a baby. It would be this book. Five students receive detention after school. There is a jock, an outcast, a brain, a beauty, and a criminal. Each student is in detention for the same crime, but they all swear they are innocent. In class, they are required to give up their cell phones, but each were caught with a phone in their bag. These phones did not belong to the occupants, thus making this look like a set-up. During detention a strange fender bender happens in the parking lot, which draws attention away from the room. While the teacher is out, Simon, the outcast grabs a drink of water. A few minutes roll by, and Simon finds himself having an allergic reaction, which he later dies from. Simon was just drinking water, but the cup he was drinking from had tested positive for high levels of peanut oil, which just so happens to be what Simon is allergic to. This quickly turns the novel from a stereotypical high school drama, to a thriller where you do not know what is going to happen next, and I am only fifty something pages in.
This is one of those "whodunit" kind of reads, and it provides readers with many opportunities to infer on what may happen next. In the game CLUE you are making your way around the game trying to figure out who, with what, and where. This novel provides readers with the same kind of opportunities. While I have been reading I am now catching myself saying "Oh, maybe Bronwyn, the brain, poisoned him because he saw something he should not have.
One thing about Simon's character is he provides the school with their weekly updates of gossip. He is a current Dan Humphrey from the books Gossip Girl. He created an app that he uses to basically post the schools juicy drama. This makes him a vulnerable character in the sense that some people may want to see him go. Analyzing this further made me think of being an educator in the future. While elementary students may not have as juicy drama as seventeen year olds, they still find things to gossip about. These things can hurt their peers feelings. How do we protect our students from these hurts in a social media frenzied culture? These are questions I wish I had the answers to, but I just don't. We may be able to control it within our classroom community, but the moment those students leave our reaches we cannot control what they are saying and doing. We can teach kindness and hope that it sticks.
One character I find particularly interesting is Bronwyn. She is labeled as the brain. During each chapter you get different perspectives of each character. Thus far Bronwyn has had the most excerpts. She has this good student vibe, and she seems to keep her nose clean. At one point though she starts talking about how she was struggling with chemistry last year, and the guidance counselor commends her on how she brought her grade up. He asks her to tutor others, and share how she did it. She politely declines saying she does not have time, but she subconsciously says they would not want her teaching how she really did it. That is all we got, but it gave me enough to want to know more. I am looking forward to getting more into this great read and finding out who killed Simon, and what they are trying to cover up. 

Turtles All The Way Down by John Green

John Green writes, "I would always be like this, always have this within me. There was no beating it. I would never slay the dragon, because the dragon was also me. Myself and the disease were knotted together for life." Mental illness is not something we like to discuss much. We battle our own battles silently. Some days it can be bearable, but other days its like our every thought is screaming at us in an anxiety riddle voice. Aza Holmes is a teenager from the very first page is riddled with extreme anxieties and obvious OCD behaviors/thoughts. The book has a lot of internal dialogue going on inside her head, which I feel reflects well with someone who suffers from anxiety. I personally did not start having anxiety and depression until my mid 20's, but I cannot begin to imagine how it feels to be a teenager riddled with these constant thoughts.
While mental illness is the strong story line throughout the novel this far, there are themes of mystery, friendship, and romance. If you have ever read something by John Green (most likely The Fault in our Stars) you may be used to this big, elaborate love story, but this book has so much more to it than this. One main premise is this mystery of where a millionaire tycoon disappeared too, and Aza and Daisy set out to find this man with a $100,000 reward. If you have read John Green before you also know some of his stories, (not sure if all) are based in Indiana. This story is set in the heart of the state, Indianapolis, so things like I-465, and the ever polluted White River, which Aza describes as "it smells of human sewage, because when it rains, the sewers overflow and the collective waste of Central Indiana dumps directly into the river." This provides some comic relief to someone who actually lives in Indiana.
As someone who suffers from extreme anxieties from PTSD, its almost fascinating reading from someone else's perspective how crippling their worries and fears can be. As the story progresses we learn about how Aza's father died at a young age. These kind of traumatic events can bring forth mental illness we did not even know we were capable of having.
Another strong quote I found from this novel, "Most adults are just hollowed out. You watch them try to fill themselves up with booze, or money, or God, or fame, or whatever they worship, and it all rots from the inside until nothing is left but the money, or the booze, or God they thought would save them. Adults think they are wielding power, but really power is wielding them." When you look at this quote from a teenagers point of view it is so powerful. We all have vices that get us through. We go from being naive children, to teenagers who start to see the world for what it is. Aza has this blunt, tell it like it is narrative, and she gives real insightful thoughts about life. I am looking forward to finishing this book this week.